Help for Social Anxiety
When the discomfort affects your ability to engage with others for fear of being judged or rejected it can lead to further isolation, feelings of loneliness, or feelings of not being known.
When someone is shy they are often described as quiet, reserved, or timid. It might be someone who has a hard time engaging at school, engaging in conversation with people they don’t know well, making new friends, speaking up in class, or sharing in various types of groups and meetings. To the outsider it might seem like the shy person just needs to get over their fear of speaking, jump into a conversation, or go out and meet new people. But for the shy person, it might just be something more.
Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is a disorder that describes someone who has an intense fear of being judged and/ or watched by others. Social anxiety can be a common anxiety disorder that affects many people in various ways. Some feel very self-conscious in social situations such as work, school, parties, and other events. The intense fear may have an effect on one’s school attendance and work, on work meetings, making and growing friendships, speaking in front of others, trying out new activities, joining sports teams, and more.
Some of the signs of social anxiety disorder may be:
Fear of a social situation in which the individual may be exposed to possible scrutiny or judgment such as a performance, eating in front of others, or other activities in which the individual could be observed.
The social situations provoke anxiety consistently and frequently.
The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual threat of the social situation (such as panic while speaking to someone new at a networking event).
Social situations are avoided or endured with intense anxiety.
Avoidance or intense anxiety affects daily life such as school, work, or other relationships.
The anxiety or avoidance persists for longer than six months.
Some of these might feel true for your experience. Do you avoid situations in life because you are afraid that someone may see you and judge you? It might be a fear of joining a sports league because you are scared that others will see you play and judge you negatively so it is easier to not join. It might be having a hard time speaking up during work meetings. Your throat may get dry, your hands might get sweating, or your voice may feel shaky so you tell your boss and peers that you have nothing to add. It might affect your relationships with peers. You might be afraid to engage in meeting new people because you are afraid they will judge how you look, how you talk, or anything else. You might be scared to ask someone out or share your feelings with someone out of fear of being rejected because they have judged you. Social anxiety can start off as feeling shy but can lead to intense anxiety and fear to engage in things such as school, work, and relationships. Most people with social anxiety crave to be seen, known, and heard but feel they cannot overcome their “shyness” or social anxiety. If you suffer from social anxiety you may be feeling lonely and isolated and it may be hindering your daily life.
If someone is suffering from social anxiety there are a few ways to address it. Some individuals may develop social anxiety during childhood and are often seen as the shy kid. The shy behaviors may take a toll on the child’s participation in social events or in developing friendships. Without treatment, it is possible that an individual may suffer with social anxiety for years or even over the course of their life. If you think you may suffer from social anxiety you can reach out to your health care provider to help rule out any physical issues that may be causing problems. Many healthcare providers will then refer the individual to a mental health clinician such as a counselor/therapist/psychotherapist. A trained counselor can work together with the client to help identify sources of anxiety and may use CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, or other types of psychotherapy to help the client address their anxiety and practice skills to work towards reducing the extreme fear surrounding social interactions.
It can be very challenging for someone with social anxiety to seek help. Since they become anxious about being open and putting themselves out there for fear of being rejected or judged, reaching out to a friend, mentor, colleague can feel impossible. It can also feel very scary to reach out to a professional counselor for help because you might fear that they would judge you or that you will be embarrassed to share things about yourself. It might be easier for someone to begin by sharing with a family member or a friend that they have been experiencing anxiety or to contact a healthcare provider. An individual who experiences social anxiety may consider reaching out for help when they or a loved one notices that it has become difficult to engage in daily life activities such as going to school, going to work, or other social activities. If the anxiety and extreme fear of judgment from others alters your social plans or if you find yourself avoiding places and experiences due to the anticipation of extreme fear and anxiety then it might be time to reach out to a professional to see how they can help address the social anxiety.
I have worked with teens and young adult men struggling with social anxiety and provide a safe space for individuals to process their fears, learn more about the sources of their fear, and gain insight and tools to help them engage socially and live more connected lives.
You can take the brave step of reaching out for help by calling or filling out the form for a free consultation to learn how counseling can help with social anxiety.